The Joy Stealer

October 06 2011, 8:00 am | Shana Wilson

Awake with a start. “Mommy, I’m hungry.” Breakfast. Break up fights. “No yelling.” School books. Pages. Paper. Pencil. “Please focus.” More fights. Lunch. Grade papers. Too many cartoons. Phone rings, “You have an appointment with the oncologist tomorrow…” “You’re being turned over for collection.” “I got a speeding ticket today.” Grade papers. “Please don’t whine.” What are we going to eat for dinner? We have no food. Little Caesar’s again. Husband comes home exhausted and joyless. He snaps at the kids. Do a load of laundry. Feed the dog. Scrub the toilets. Get the mail. More bills. Mom calls needing time that you don’t have to give. Get pizza. Feed kids. Bathe kids. Put kids to bed. Talk to husband for five minutes. Lay head down on pillow.

Awake with a start.

 

How many days have I spent like this? Ignoring Jesus? Lost in the weight of yesterday and tomorrow. Joyless moments. Jesusless moments. Hopeless moments. Surviving.

To have joy requires intense consciousness. It doesn’t come naturally. Our humanity naturally diverts us to depravity. Depression. Solitude. Jesus beckons us to life. Relationship. Joy.  Jesus said, “The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy; I have come that they may have life, and have it to the full” (John 10:10).

I’m reading this book:

and it is wrecking me.

“The root word of eucharisteo is charis, meaning ‘grace.’ Jesus took the bread and saw it as grace and gave thanks…But there is more and I read it. Eucharisteo, thanksgiving, envelopes the Greek word for grace, charis. But it also holds its derivative, the Greek word chara, meaning ‘joy.’ Joy. Ahh… yes. I might be needing me some of that… I breathe deep, like a sojourner finally coming home. That has always been the goal of the fullest life—joy” (Voskamp, 32).

Joy in a smiling little face awakening me with a start. Beautiful, sweet eyes. A gift! Joy in the pancake batter that bubbles and froths and turns golden brown and the children who eat it up, all sticky and warm. Joy in their lungs and voices and personalities. Joy in learning new things, in hands with pencils forming letters, calculating numbers, learning to read. Joy.  Joy.

I’m learning to fight for joy by finding joy in the moments. By noticing the beautiful little things that God kisses me with every day. By stopping to smell the roses. By changing my perspective. By opening my hands to His voice and His presence in everything.

I’m learning to breathe Him in so that the joy stealer doesn’t win.

 

Reference: Voskamp, Ann. One Thousand Gifts: A Dare to Live Fully Right Where You Are. Grand Rapids: Zondervan, 2010. Print.

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