November 17 2011, 8:42 pm | Shannon Williams
Last Spring a lady in my small group said to me, “this is kind of awkward, but how do you feel about being set up with someone?” I said, “Awkward, why? How am I going to meet someone if everyone thinks it’s awkward to introduce two people?” In her defense, she didn’t want to offend me and I appreciate that. I told her that a long time ago I told God that I would be willing to go out at least once if someone wanted to set me up.
So, she gave the guy my phone number and shortly after that, I got THE call! It was hilarious! His first question to me was “what do you want in a relationship?” After I picked myself up off the floor, I gave him a great theological answer, “I want someone who loves the Lord first and foremost, who is running hard after Him; someone I can have fun with and laugh with; and someone who enjoys doing some of the same things as me.” (Something like that). He didn’t like my answer and said it was a generic reply. Who is this guy? I’m asking myself! So, I asked him the same question and his answer---really hilarious! He said that he is on some kind of special diet and he felt like he would be unequally yoked if he married someone who didn’t eat the same diet! Then he explained the diet to me. I said, “Well, I have to be honest with you, I eat hamburgers, hot dogs, and pizza, so I don’t eat that special diet.” He said he would put the ball in my court because since I wasn’t educated on this diet, he wasn’t ruling me out. So that I’m not accused of being “too picky” or “too quick to judge”, I told him I was willing to meet him. Before we hung up he told me that his mom is a psychologist and that he doesn’t have any baggage---bahaha, if that isn’t a RED FLAG, I don’t know what is---we ALL have baggage—some more than other’s of course. So, we decided to meet at a local coffee shop for our “date”.
On Saturday, I was waiting at the coffee shop—not sure who I was looking for when a nice looking guy walked up. He asked if I was Kathy and we introduced ourselves to each other. I reached out my hand to shake his and he pulled back away from me and said, “oh no, I may still have germs!” He had some kind of cold or something, but he was quite dramatic. We ordered white chocolate mochas and had a seat at a nearby table. He is a man of first questions and he says---you are single and never been married—there’s a story behind that---what is it? I’m quickly thinking that I want to be as honest as possible, but I don’t know this guy so I’ll keep it limited. I told him that I had some things from my past that had caused me to fear guys, but I was working on that and willing to work through those fears with the right person. Then to be fair, I asked him about his marriage that was 28 years ago and why he stayed single for so long. I got a whole lot more information than I bargained for when I opened that can of worms! He told me some intimate details about his wedding night and sadly they weren’t married long, but she was the crazy one! He was very much on edge the whole hour that we spent talking. He got angry with me talking about working through anger and told me he had dealt with all of that on his own. It was really crazy as he told me about all the different doctors he had seen who diagnosed him the same, but they were all stupid idiots and didn’t know what they were talking about. I tried to stay playful in the conversation, but it was quite intense! He also talked about his dad who was sick and how he was trying to help him. To top it off all of a sudden he stood up and said, “I gotta go!” I’m sitting there thinking, “To the bathroom?” Then I realized he meant leave. So, I stood up and walked out with him. I told him I hoped his dad got better soon and if I’m lyin I’m dyin he said, “I don’t, I hope he dies.” I couldn’t get out of there fast enough!
The morals of this story: Please don’t set your single friends up with a guy just because he is breathing, single, and says he is a Christian!
Please don’t tell your single friends that when you finally give up looking, Mr. Right is going to come along. I am 46 and that statement just isn’t true.
Please don’t tell your single friends they are too picky and don’t ask them what is wrong with them indicating there must be some defect in order for them to still be single.
It’s true that God will give us the desires of our hearts, but it may not be in this lifetime.
Do set your single friends up with nice Christian guys that you know.
And please do pray for the single women that you know because most of us desire to be married, but it’s really hard to ask for prayer for that area of our lives.
The Bible tells us to encourage one another in love and good works whether we are single or married. God’s purpose is the same: to glorify Him in all that we do.