Dad…He’s Not Just a Babysitter

August 25 2011, 9:02 pm | Rebekah Hollaway

Women, we've done ourselves and our husbands a huge disservice.  It probably starts at conception when God gives us the sole responsibility to nurture and care for the miracle growing inside us.  But then 9 months later we sit with that precious miracle in our arms.  Let's admit it...we are overcome with love for our baby and concern about our own inadequacy.  I don't care how much you've read...in that moment, as you are staring into those eyes, you realize that this is beyond anything you've ever experienced.  You stand at the threshold of great responsibility and privilege.

But, we tend to forget our husbands are right there with us.  This baby didn't come with an owner's manual...not even the one we think we've written.  Just as we (as women) need to figure out how to be a mom, we need to give our husbands room to learn how to be a dad.

I watch over and over again as moms (who have the best intentions) keep their husbands from developing their parenting instincts.  It happens subtly at first:  "don't hold him that way", "you have to burp like this", "those clothes don't match", etc.  When this becomes the norm, the husband backs away...if he can't do it "right", why even try?  Sadly, years later I hear these same women complain, "My husband never helps with the kids."  Maybe the truth is you've never given him the opportunity.

Our husbands need affirmation as they struggle to figure out how to do this thing.  (Just as we're figuring it out ourselves.)  They need to know they can't "babysit" their own kids...it's called being a dad.  They need to know how important they are in the lives of their children and that no one can fill their shoes.  Let's  encourage them as they make an effort to connect and engage their kids...they've got as much at stake as we do!

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